October 30th: Wait for it...
October 31st: Wait for it....
November 1st: EVERYTHING IS CHRISTMAS AND NOTHING HURTS
lovelyyashleyyy: laurenlikesthings: i just heard somebody call real life “the outernet” excuse me while i never say ‘real life’ again lmao
Me: I'm going to change the way I think and try to stay more positive!
12 seconds pass
Me: Everything is horrible why am I even alive
cozely: I really want to hear Obama say “nigga please” just once
guys please, I cannot answer all 0 messages
thesockmonkeyrenegade: presidentme: Bill Nye the PARTY guy MY LIFE HAD NO MEANING UNTIL THIS MOMENT
foreveralone-lyguy: I don’t think this is how you play fantasy football
My first marriage will be my ONLY marriage.
*Wakes up in the middle of the night*
Me: Please don't be 6am
Me: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ME!
*Shoves face back into pillow*
Teacher: 1 + 1 = 2
Classwork: 2 + 2 = 4
Homework: If you're flying in a jet plane across the Atlantic Ocean from your beginning point in Hawaii, how many frogs in the Amazon Rain Forest die due to the winds you create via startling a butterfly into flight due to the noise of your engine and causing it to flap its wings in just the right way to create a vortex in the air? How does the answer change if your favorite color is blue?
Quiz: Just kidding 3 + 3 = 6
Test: I give you a hamburger.
How to make Piñata cookies!
thequeenofsiam: thevegancheese: nada-interessante: Aw, these are cute. Must veganize! i am going to be the goddamned belle of the ball at this years family xmas cookie exchange! This is the coolest thing ever.
99 Life Hacks to make your life easier!
I HAVE FOUND THE SECRETS TO THE UNIVERSE! this, I liiiiike. HOLY SHIT YES